Baldy Britney Spears had her crazy captured on tape this weekend. On Friday Brit went for a tan and a sushi dinner with her cousin and on the way out, she called over a paparazzi agency to tape a little message to the public.

First the fierce baldy thanked her fans for their support. Then she launched into a mad monologue, rattling on in a fake valley girl accent about everything from tabloid troubles to Jesus.

In the minute and a half diatribe, she addresses rumors that she's pregnant, saying, "And, like, I saw these magazines, and they said I was pregnant, and like it's so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you're smart and I'm stupid. Like for real." Well put.

The spacey pop star also takes a stab at her management, snarkily adding that, like, "my management totally knew what they were doing when they sent me to rehab."